This is a special for my friend coming over. Two or three years ago, we made a movie with her toy horses called Secrets of Equestria. Admittedly, it was about the dorkiest story I’ve ever taken part in writing, but the story could have been decent with a little revising, and I just can’t bring myself to scrap it. I was going to post the entire thing, but I realized it’s more than fifty pages with tiny font, so I’ll just be posting a little bit at a time.
Cinnie, resident stallion of Equestria Square, neighed in happiness at the loveliness of the fresh morning air. “Today is so beautiful, isn’t it?” he sang.
“Yes it is,” a young filly said, giving her head a little shake. “It’s perfect for, well, a Rose. Like me.”
“And look at my tail. It’s blowing in the wind. Blowing, blowing, blowing, blowing, blowing…” He galloped in circles. Rose giggled. “I love love love love love, love love…” Cinnie sang to nobody in particular.
“Oh, hello, Spirit!” said Rose over Cinnie, who was still singing, “Love, love, love, love love”.
“Hey, Rose,” said Spirit, a big buckskin stallion. “Do you want to go to Apple Jack over there and tell her that the apples are ready?” He tipped his head to a young gold-brown mare who was chatting with another horse a few yards away.
“Oh, that would be great!” said Rose cheerfully. “Hey, AJ, you know the apples are ready, doncha?”
“Oh yes,” said Apple Jack, nodding, as Spirit trotted away to one of the barns of Equestria. “I was just about to go pick them.” She walked over a few yards over to her barn, and there was a smack as she kicked the tree to knock them down. “Isn’t that a beautiful bunch of apples?” she said cheerfully, with a little hop.
“Very nice,” said Rose, nodding.
“I know!” said Apple Jack. “They’re so red this year.”
“I see you’ve been taking good care of them,” said Rose.
“Hey, Rose,” said a young stallion, trotting over to them. He was brown with a beige mane. “Guess what?”
“What?” said Rose.
“Did you hear that Dakota, me…” he took a huge breath, “has a girlfriend?”
“Really?’ said Rose, politely surprised. “Hmm.”
“Yep, her name’s Ashley,” said Dakota. “Ashley, c’mere!”
“Huh, Ashley. That’s a nice name. Oh, hello.” Ashley had just cantered up to them. “Ooh, that’s a cool necklace.”
“Oh yes,” she said. “And look inside of it. It’s a ruby.” She opened her locket, showing them the beautiful ruby inside.
“The ruby of – ” Ashley began, but Rose interrupted her. “I just remembered something,” she said in a low voice.
“What?” said Dakota.
“I have to go,” said Rose. “Sorry. My mom wants me back for dinner early. Bye.”
“Okay,” said Dakota, and Rose left. “Oh, hey, Charlotte,” said Dakota.
“Hi,” said a brown mare, but she was interrupted by a voice coming from behind them.
“Oh, May, will you look at that lovely necklace,” it crooned.
Ashley and Dakota turned around. It was Fiona Prissy and her daughter May, the two snottiest horses in Equestria. They were both decked out in all kinds of charms, ribbons, and rings, and Fiona was wearing a saddle, something almost unheard of anywhere around Equestria. It was said to be invented by mythical creatures called humans.
“Don’t touch the necklace,” said Dakota defensively. “I gave it to her.”
“Why would I listen to you?” sneered May. “What’s wrong with that one hoof, anyway? It’s white. Yaach!”
“It’s white because it’s in my genetics,” retorted Dakota. “Oh, is your foot broken, or is that supposed to be fashion?”
“It’s fashion, silly,” said May. “Now get out of my face!”
“Get out of my face,” said Dakota.
“Leave him alone,” said Ashley.
“Oh, really,” snorted May. “And why am I supposed to listen to you?”
“May, shut it,” Fiona ordered. “That’s quite a pretty little thing you have around your neck.” She tweaked Ashley’s locket with one hoof.
“Oh, yes,” said Ashley aggressively. “And it has the ruby of get out of our way inside of it.”
“Oh, really,” jeered May. “Well it’s not working, ‘cause here I am.”
“Blah blah blah,” said Ashley loudly. “C’mon, Dakota. Let’s go.” They cantered off primly without a backward glance at the two rotten horses.
“Oh yeah?” said Fiona softly. “I’ll get that necklace if it’s the last thing I do.”
“Hmph,” said May irritably. “Come on, Mummy.”
Apple Jack, who had, unbeknownst to the Prissies, watching on the sidelines, snorted. “Man, they really like fashion,” she said. “Ha. That’s why I like apples.”
“Fashion’s okay,” said a young black mare named Sabrina Kayleen (although she went by Kayleen). “But, really? What’s the deal?”
Apple Jack left. Charlotte walked up to Kayleen. “Hi,” she said.
“Oh, hello,” said Kayleen.
“My name’s Charlotte. What’s your name?”
“My name is Kayleen,” said the black horse shyly. Kayleen was very skittish around people she didn’t know.
“Ooh, that’s a pretty name,” said Charlotte. “Are you new around here?”
“Yes, pretty new,” said Kayleen. “But I’ve already got a friend. His name is Romeo.”
“Romeo?” butted in Cinnie, who had been lollygagging around near the end of Equestria Square. “Doesn’t that guy come from the mountains?”
“Yeah, he does, but he’s just so delightful,” said Kayleen enthusiastically. “He’s always going away, though. I don’t know where he goes. I – ”
“Probably to the mountains to serve the Dragon Lord,” said Cinnie.
“Oh, you are just so paranoid,” said Kayleen with a frown. “He’s really nice. He’s really quite delightful.”
“That’s all you see in people, delight,” muttered Cinnie, stomping off.
“And all you see in people is war,” replied Kayleen scathingly when a tiny woof came from the ground below. There was a tiny puppy there.
“Oh, hello, sweetie,” crooned Kayleen. “Is everything okay, puppy? Aww, poor little guy. Come on, I’ll take you to my room.” Together, they walked off.
“I’m going back inside,” muttered Charlotte, and wandered off.
“Dee dee deedeedeedee dee dee dee, dee, dee dee deedeedeedee dee-dee-dee-dee! Dee dee deedee – ” sang a grayish-black horse named Drover. His eyes were as big as his hooves. He did not have a reputation for being particularly intelligent.
Spirit, who had been standing behind Drover, was nearly smacked by his flying storm-gray tail. “I really don’t see what that guy is for,” muttered Spirit to himself, and wandered off.
The sun had set, and around Equestria “goodnights” were floating around everywhere. “Goodnight,” said Spirit. “Goodnight,” said Cinnie. “Goodnight,” Dakota said, directed at Ashley. “Okay, Dakota. Goodnight,” said Ashley sleepily. “Goodn – ” Apple Jack started to say, already half asleep, but she was interrupted by an earth-shaking boom and a “ROAR!” that shook roofs! Neighs and snorts rang through the streets a pandemonium broke out in Equestria Square. “What was that?” yelled Cinnie. “What was that?” screamed Spirit. “Oh my goodness, that was so creepy!”
Suddenly there was another loud booming sound, like something falling on the floor, this time coming from the King’s Barn. “What was that?” cried Cinnie. Another voice came from the barn, but it was not that of the king. It was croaky, and punctuated by squawks like a bird’s. “Raak! Danger in the mountains! Don’t go, don’t go! Araak!”
“It’s a bird!” yelled a paint named Thunder. “Oh no. Here, little buddy.” He made to pick it up. “Oh, wait. You’re a girl, sorry.”
“What was that?” said Ashley. “I – oh, was it this bird?”
The bird began her feverish cries again. “Danger in the mountains! No one goes, no one goes! Reeakk!”
“What was that?’ said Dakota grumpily. “Who woke me up?”
“There’s something terrible in the mountains!” the bird said urgently. “Something terrible, terrible, terrible!”
“What?” said Ashley, almost screaming with impatience.
“I – I don’t speak of it,” croaked the bird.
“Tell us,” said Spirit firmly. “It might be important.”
“I need help first,” croaked the bird weakly.
“I’ll help you,” said Thunder’s sister, Sylvia. “So can Kayleen. Wait, where’s Kayleen, everyone?”
“Oh, no!” cried Charlotte. “Where’s Kayleen? Kayleen!”
“Kayleen!” yelled Sylvia.
“Kayleen!” they yelled together.
“Oh, no, where’s Kayleen?” groaned Charlotte.
“Hey, don’t step on the bird!”
“Sorry, I can’t see. Where are you, Kayleen?’
“Oh no, where’s Kayleen?”
The bird interrupted their frantic search for their black friend. “Awark, awark, I must warn you… Big monster… giant wings…”
“I’ll help you,” said Sylvia. “Here, get on my back.”
In the background, several horses were still crying for Kayleen when, at last, someone cried, “Hey, there’s Kayleen!”
“Kayleen!” said Dakota. “We have a bird. He fell in the barn.” It didn’t seem like Dakota cared much about the bird.
“Oh, you poor thing!” cried Kayleen. “King, will she be okay?”
“She’ll be alright,” said a voice, and the king stepped out of the barn.
“Oh, we were looking all over for you, Kayleen!” said Cinnie.
“Sorry, I almost tripped over the bird!” said Spirit.
“Oh, I am so sorry, you poor creature,” said Kayleen to the bird. It was several different colors, all of them shades of yellow, green, orange, or pink. She had a crest of scarlet feathers on her head.
“What in the world is going on over here?” said Apple Jack, swaying up from her pile of hay in her barn.
“I really don’t know,” said Kayleen, “but there’s a little bird here.”
“What’s going on?” said Apple Jack. “I heard a boom, a big roar – and then I woke up.”
“Oh, you poor thing, what’s your name?” said Kayleen sweetly to the bird.
“My name is Clementine,” said the bird. “You know, I’ve got a sister. I just don’t know where she is… oops, I mean brother. I’m just all… nnnh. After my fall I can’t tell what’s what.”
“Oh, go put him in a nest or something,” said Dakota carelessly, once again mistaking Clementine for a boy. “I’m gonna go try to find her brother.” He walked away back to his barn, grumbling about birds, loud noises, and the middle of the night.
“Come on,” said Rose gently, caressing the wounded bird in her hooves. “Kayleen and I will take good care of you.” She, along with Kayleen, walked off with Clementine towards Kayleen’s pasture.
“Raak!” said a voice. It wasn’t Clementine.
“I found him!” hollered Spirit.
“Reeeaa!” cried Clementine’s brother. He was breathing hard. “Where’s my sister?” he said.
“She’s very hurt,” said Sylvia, trotting back from Kayleen’s stable. “You are her brother, aren’t you? What’s your name?”
“Raaa,” said the bird. “My name’s Phoenix. I’m a Bird Warrior.”
“I can tell,” said Sylvia, sizing him up. He had a silvery white breastplate across his chest. He looked just like his sister, except he lacked the orange crest on top of his green and yellow head. “That’s a very fine breastplate you have. Who made it?”
“I did,” he replied proudly. “Raak. I gotta go. I am trying to find my sister.”
“Your sister is currently in our custody,” said Sylvia. “She’s very hurt, and she – ”
“Take her to me!” yelled Phoenix, abandoning all pretense of regality. His vivid feathers puffed up in aggression. “Take her – raak! That’s it! Raagh!” He tried to bite Sylvia’s hoof, but she stepped out of the way just in time. “Give me my sister!”
“Fine,” said Sylvia calmly. “Kayleen, give us the bird.”
“Okay,” yelled Kayleen.
She brought her over to where Phoenix was standing. “Clementine!” he yelled.
“Oh, Phoenix!” she said.
“What happened to your wing?” he said.
“Big monster,” said Clementine, “big wings… loud roar, attacked me.”
“Dragon!” Phoenix blurted out. “You were attacked by a dragon!”
In the distance, there was a faint sound of chimes as beautiful as a rainbow.
“Oh yes, I forgot to tell you guys, there’s a dragon in the mountains. There were a few black horses up there, and – ”
“Yeah, the dragon!” said Clementine with a shake of her head. The chimes sounded again. At this Phoenix flew off to perch on the roof of a building.
“Huhhhh,” said Apple Jack with a shiver. “I’m getting kind of cold.” Her teeth were chattering.
“Are you okay?” said Clementine.
“I do-do-do-don’t know,” stuttered Apple Jack.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” said Clementine, but at that moment there was a whoosh, and Apple Jack changed.
“Oh my goodness!” gasped Phoenix. “Apple Jack!”
“What?” said Apple Jack confusedly.
“Apple Jack?” said Sylvia in wonder.
“What?” said Apple Jack again.
“Awark, awark!” said Clementine in a hushed voice. “It’s the one! The one that can destroy the dragon!”
“What?” Apple Jack said impatiently.
“Apple Jack!” gasped Rose, who had just come out of her barn, awakened by all the yelling outside.
“What? Tell me what!” said Apple Jack, almost screaming.
“You’re a…” Rose hesitated, seeming to be at a loss for words, “unicorn.”
“No, I’m not!” said Apple Jack, tossing her magnificently white, glittering head.
“’Course you are,” said Rose with a frown. “Here, look.” She held up a wooden mirror.
“Oh – oh my goodness,” said Apple Jack, stunned. “I’m a unicorn! No, no no no, I’m not the one to defeat the d-dragon… I didn’t even know I was a unicorn!”
“Awark, awark, It’s alright, it’s alright,” said Clementine. “You’re the one for sure. You’ve got magic. Try that horn.” Apple Jack was still breathing hard. “Try it, try it, fix my wing.”
Apple Jack was unsure of whether that was a good idea. “Uhhh… I’ll test it on him.”
“Me?” said Cinnie.
“Yeah, yeah, you.”
“One… two… three…” There was a whoosh, and Cinnie disappeared.
“Oh no!” said Apple Jack. “He’s a hay bale!”
“Raak,” said Clementine thoughtfully. “Something went a bit wrong…”
“I’m sorry,” said Apple Jack in a panicky voice. “I just… I got nervous and I got hungry.”
“Raa,” said Clementine soothingly. “Apple Jack, Apple Jack. It’s okay, we all forgive you.”
“I don’t know how to turn him back!” said Apple Jack frantically.
“It’s okay,” Clementine was trying to say, but Apple Jack was pacing back and forth, saying to herself, “This is terrible!” over and over.
“It’s okay, we forgive you,” said Clementine patiently. “You can defeat the dragon for sure.”
“I’m getting kind of hot,” Apple Jack said. “I’m burning up…” She started panting.
“Apple Jack, are you sure you’re okay?” said Clementine.
There was yet another whoosh, and the real Apple Jack was out, tan body, reddish-brown mane, and no horn.
“Apple Jack,” said Clementine. “What happened?”
“What?” said Apple Jack.
“You’re not a unicorn anymore.”
“I’m not? But he’s still a hay – ”
“Bale. We know. Oh dear. Shall we call the King?” said Rose, cutting in.
“I don’t think the king has magic,” muttered Apple Jack.
“Oh yeah… but we need some HELP! EVERYBODY PANIC!” She screamed one long, piercing scream, running back and forth across the street. “Wait – it’s only one guy,” said Rose. “But he’s a hay bale…” With that she fell over in a dead faint.
“Dee dee dee deedeedeedee!” Drover hollered in the background. “Dee dee deeee…” He trailed off awkwardly when he realized no one was listening.
“A dragon? Really?” said Sylvia, walking over, and for the third time, chimes sounded from somewhere in the distance. Apple Jack started shivering again.
“Whoa! Apple Jack!” said Sylvia in awe.
“What?” said Apple Jack.
“You’re a unicorn again!”
“I am? Oh, I think I figured it out! Every time somebody says the word ‘dragon’ – ”
“Don’t say it,” Sylvia interrupted firmly. “Spell it. D-R-A-G-O-N.”
“Well, every time somebody says that, I turn into a unicorn! I’ve got it!”
“Well, we’d better hope you stay a unicorn, or that mountain monster’s going to stay,” said Clementine.
Just as she said that there was another earsplitting roar from the mountain that towered above the Equestria Square.
“Oh no, he’s back!” said Apple Jack.
“Come on, guys,” said Sylvia. “We’re going to the mountains. I’ve been thinking, and I think I’ve got a bone to pick with Romeo.”
I know, it’s an insanely strange story. It was a horribly planned-out story, but my fiction life wouldn’t be complete without mentioning this one. Thanks for reading, even though I can imagine this story driving anyone nuts. Especially my friend’s mom.
P.S. I’m pretty sure this is full of My Little Pony plagiarisms. I don’t claim to have thought of the names Equestria, Apple Jack, or any more that may pop up.